If you’ve ever been in the position of having to end a relationship and realizing when divorce is inevitable, you know the process is not easy. Deciding to separate is emotionally fraught, especially if you have children or have spent years of your life together.
When is enough truly enough? Will your partner change? Is it worth trying one more time? How much can you take? Should you stay together for the kids? Will you ever find anyone else?
These are common questions, and most people ask them.
In this post, we’ll discuss how to recognize the signs that your relationship may be past repair, and what to do when it is.
6 Warning Signs Your Relationship Can’t be Saved
While no two relationships are the same, the causes for divorce tend to be predictable.
In a 2003 study conducted by Paul R. Amato and Denise Previti, researchers found that the single most common cause of divorce is infidelity, which is responsible for an estimated 21.6% of the divorces in the study.
Incompatibility was a close second, causing 19.2% of divorces. Drinking, drug use, and addiction were responsible for just over 10% of divorces. Other issues, like growing apart, incompatibility, physical or mental abuse, and poor communication accounted for the rest.
No matter how long you’ve been together, or what issues you’ve faced, these warning signs suggest that divorce is inevitable:
1. Communication is impossible
While you and your partner used to communicate openly, things are now at a standstill. You can’t communicate kindly or calmly. Every discussion becomes a shouting match or recitation of all the problems you’ve ever had in your relationship.
Alternately, one or both partners is engaging in stonewalling, and you feel that nothing ever gets solved.
2. Finding fault is becoming a habit
Nobody is perfect, and complaints are an important part of keeping any relationship afloat. Still, those healthy complaints can eventually become all-out criticism.
If you find that you’re making complaints personal and using them to attack your partner, your marriage is in danger. If every minor mistake becomes an example of larger flaws, your marriage may be beyond saving.
3. You’re trying to keep the peace
If you’re spending all your energy walking on eggshells in your relationship, you’re simply reinforcing the broken lines of communication in your relationship.
While keeping the peace can be a valuable tactic during regular rough patches, allowing it to become a long-term habit is detrimental to your relationship.
4. You feel contempt
Contempt or disgust are very dangerous habits in a relationship. If your partner’s familiar habits now drive you up the wall, or you find it virtually impossible to remember why you fell in love with them, you’re stuck in a corrosive pattern.
5. You don’t turn to your spouse for support
You used to see your spouse as your best friend. Now they’re the last person you want to talk to after a tough day.
Perhaps you’ve lost trust in your spouse, or you no longer believe he or she has your best interests at heart. Whatever the case may be, this pulling-back will only cause your relationship to wither.
6. Physical or emotional abuse has become an issue
If your relationship involves instances of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, it’s likely that the partnership is beyond repair.
Even a one-off instance of abuse is incredibly corrosive in a relationship, and can quickly lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
4 Things to do if Your Relationship is Beyond Repair
If you believe that divorce is inevitable, you may feel the need to act.
Here are some steps you should take as soon as you believe divorce is on the horizon:
1. Make a list of your marital property
Make copies of information regarding your assets, debts, income sources, tax information, real estate holdings, and employee benefits. If you own things like machinery, tools, artwork, or rare jewelry, make a list of these assets and their values.
2. Understand your expenses
Finances are an important element in any divorce. As you dissolve your marriage, you’ll need to know how much money you need to cover your monthly expenses. Keep in mind that divorce can be costly, especially if it gets ugly.
With that in mind, take a look at your expenses and decide where you can cut down and save money while your divorce proceedings move through the courts. Buckling down now can help you avoid legal battles over finances later.
3. Don’t rush your decisions
Divorce is a major upheaval in your life, and it can create significant emotional distress. With that in mind, avoid making big decisions as you navigate the divorce.
For example, don’t make any decisions about moving, dating, or parenting during the first six months of your separation. As you navigate the divorce, your feelings will settle and allow you to make clear-headed choices.
4. Hire a Pensacola lawyer
Even if you believe you’re going to have an uncontested divorce, you still need an attorney. Good legal representation when divorce is inevitable will help you avoid costly legal mistakes and oversights that can cause your divorce to drag on longer than expected or required.
MGM Law is Here for You
Facing the breakdown of a marriage is very difficult, and there’s no way around the fact that it’s so hard. Fortunately, you don’t have to come away with divorce regrets.
When you accept that the marriage has run its course, you can focus on navigating your divorce and separation. From there, you can start looking forward–rather than backward–and building the life and the future you want. Here at MGM Law, we specialize in helping people navigate the divorce process while protecting their mental health and best interests.
Whether you’ve been married for a year or several decades, our team will help you protect your assets, avoid needless divorce difficulties, and streamline the divorce process as much as possible.
Ready to learn more? Contact our team today.